9.09.2011

Living into Thinking...


Whangamata, New Zealand

Last Sunday our pastor shared the following message that struck me so powerfully, I hurriedly wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it :

" The issue with our culture today is that we believe we can think ourselves into a new way of living... NOT TRUE. What we can do, need to do, is live ourselves into a new way of thinking. "

Part of why I feel this resonated with me so deeply is because of the season of life I am currently experiencing. I have been feeling a mix of emotions lately that pretty much all stem from my undeniably human attitude. Anxiousness, worry, fear, doubt, frustration, restlessness, defeat. These things are not of the Lord... they come from my own self-centered perspective and quite frankly, I'm upset that I'm not getting my way.

I am irritated that I have poured so much time and energy into finding a job that I love (and still don't have). I'm annoyed that I feel stagnant in my creativity and don't have the inspiration or motivation to pursue previous ideas (or finish half-started projects). I'm bitter that I have spread myself transparently thin for the sake of an opportunity that has potentially lead to a dead-end (and sacrificed quality time with my little family along the way).

Rotorua, New Zealand

Overall, I feel like I have a pretty negative attitude at the moment and I want it to stop. I want to have a gentle, quiet spirit and wait patiently for the Lord's faithfulness. I want to trust in His goodness and find comfort in knowing that my life is in His hands. But I am not going to get to that place, in my heart and soul, by telling myself to "think good thoughts" and "focus on positive things". I have to start living it out. That's it. There's no other option.

If I believe that the Lord is a good, faithful, and loving Father, who has knit me together according to his perfect design, and knows the deepest desires of my heart and longs to answer when I knock... then I need to live that out. When it's tough; when it's inconvenient; when I'm tired... I need to live it, breathe it, believe it, and eventually start to think it.

Mission Vineyard, Hawkes Bay, New Zealand

 knock knock knockin'...

(oh, and I'm also fantasizing [again] about us packing up and moving to New Zealand...)

3 comments:

Unknown said...
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Amy H said...

Hailey,
I am right there with you. Everything you write completely resonates with where I am at right now. When I sit down and take a deep look at my life I am amazed at the abundance of blessings I have been given and yet I daily find myself frustrated at so many things in life: under-challenged job, lack of creativity to finish nesting in this new home, working weekends and not getting to connect to a church, not having enough time to travel, etc.
Seriously I hate that I feel this sense of entitlement to all these things and yet I forget all the places I have been able to go to already, all the patients I have helped when they're sick, and the grace God gave us in finding a house! What the heck?!?
Major time to prioritize my focus and get back to His timing and plan, not mine...
Thanks for your honest words. We miss you here on the coast! ( I know you daydream about the beach, but I find myself daydreaming about the scenery there... typical eh?)
P.S. Tyler and I are trying to plan a trip to NZ or Greece so we must chat about your trip and suggestions of where to go.
XOXO
Amy

Hailey Marie said...

Thank you so much for your response, Amy! It's funny how we can often find encouragement and comfort in knowing that we're not alone in this place (even if it's not where we would want anyone else to have to be!)... I would love to chat with you more about all the things happening in life right now...and of course, about traveling!! I can't say enough amazing things about New Zealand, so whenever you have time to get me started let me know :)